LIFE'S A GAME

The Other Half.....Lovestoned........

2007-01-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

new years over d.....sien.....everyones back at their own routine.....those overseas have already gone back to their designated destination. looks like i'm gonna be all alone in my own four-walled room again. I've alwiz been like so alone and my other half was dedicated for my peeps. de last two weeks have been all about defining fun and entertainment. gawd, all those drinkin and partying..... man, I owe the interesting christmas and new yrs eve '07 to all dem peeps. and most of all, knowing that they r all gonna be goin off and the party ending soon enuff, i'm granted my greatest wish of all, to discover my other half. it was an angelic soul named K-E-L-L-Y.....came as a gust of winter breeze rite into my soul. I became strong....the perfect word...."Lovestoned"..... God is fair...... Someone i can share my thoughts and feelings with.....
Baby, ur the greatest thing to happen to me..... I've been a lonely directionless soul all this while and ur mere existence brought everything to a halt. U became the light that i once thought never existed........ Ur eyes freezed my motion, ur lips rejuvenate my energy, and ur sensual touches simply makes me alive.....i'm "Lovestoned" all over again..... the time dat i've spent with u the past 1 month is de best moment of my life.... but i sense greater moments together.... and i look forward to life with u making me a complete man. i'd never want anythin else other than u being rite here by my side..... KELLY, the perfect name for a perfect soul....

baby, I love u.

-Theme- "Lovestoned" by Justin Timberlake.......

Lost........

2006-12-05T01:50:00.000+08:00

its been awhile since i didn't publish a post.....looks like my place kinda dead. good at least watever i blab about , no one's gonna read it. just about to finish Deception Point by Dan Brown but it jus got me yawning d.... was at the Chris Harper part but even when i reach a quarter of it, i was bored already. so hard to keep up with frens nowadays. everyone more or less have moved away with their own lives. I only have frens come knocking on my door either their gfs' or bfs' are away, they jus broke up, or jus when they practicality have nothin to do and wanted someone there so they dun look "ABSURD " while eating at a mamak place like at 1am in the morning.
Do i f*cking look like a puppet?!? I never knew I was like that but time make changes and I'm really feeling a lost of touch with everything in this world....I always tot I make de correct decisions thruout my life but several occasions makes it hard for me to swallow when it resulted in me as a laughing stock.......
I used to be a humorous person but now every piece of joke aimed at me tends to become an insult and me now easily provoked and really panas-baran.
lotsa things happen this past few years......
was played and betrayed completely by someone i tot was a fren(left me in a serious deep shit), belittled by someone who was a fren for a very very very long time, and lotsa things.
jus when things start to turn out rosy, things jus happen.
my life's jus like a game dat i happened to be the character with the controller being God Himself.
I used to talk alot but a fren actually told me its more like bulls than sane statement which really hurt me. I alwiz tot being able to talk is like being able to socialise but then now i shud keep my mouth shut whenever i can.
I dun use to smile so much either. being a loner certainly cause serious mental disorders. I use to tell ppl to be cheerful and smile cos tomorrow will be better but now, i can't draw any inspiration nor influence from it.
I'm really starting to lose it. Everyone hates me I jus realized. I was never loved and will never be.
My cigarettes intake just doubled for the past 2 months. I'm just gonna die young and alone.
I dream of having a career, a family, a nice pair of kids, a mediocre lifestyles, being a great father. Someone used to say I am such a family man. I was quite happy being complimented dat way. But now, life is such a haywire and it is all impossible.
This world is so full of nonsense, u never know when a person's telling the truth or when he's faking. when u have a lot to offer, u have tonnes of frens, but when ur a piece of dung, jus wait to be left alone and rot. watever I do, ppl criticize, even when i think i did de correct thing.
It happens not only in college, its in de house, and even while playin games. am i born to be criticised and a punching bag for all sorts of jeers and insults??
I really really am sick of this. glad all them peeps will be back in like 2 weeks. If by the new year I'm still de same me, suicide is not my choice, but i'm gonna throw away the phone and keep away from the outside world and be a good old loner.
I actually took up my phone tryin to get someone jus for lunch 3 weeks ago but guess wat, i got no one to call up. everyone seems to already have their own agenda in mind and only me. Only me. Always left with doubts and uncertainties. I felt like my pace is so much slower compared to everyone else. any single humans i know is settling into the world of adulthood so well but only me. still crawling and groping in the darkness.

When will i see the light that will inspire me?

When will i live in a better world?

When will i be talked about?

When will i be loved?

When will it end?

I wonder about the answers alone in my dark room looking out thru my windows.
Its raining heavily outside. My life's like de rain, shattered once the droplets reach de ground.
I can feel my soul tumbling down. Further, and further into darkness.

Lost.

Repentance.....

2006-09-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

results are out, hai.....and its saddening, need to resit in November, i fail one paper by 2 marks, 2 FREAKIN marks!!!??! if i had pass dis one, I can continue to next year d......wats wrong with these UOL ppl.....I just had no luck, I tot i work hard enough to earn all passes d.....
now need to "phak pia" for another 2 months then its exam time again, hope this time these UOL ppl get enough sleep and entertainment and vacation before marking my paper.

Stress and tiredness=misjudgment of my answers

....and I f*ckin dowan dat to happen.....it f*ckin cost me RM3k jus to resit.....
bloody hell, I tot only MMU is Money-Making University, but hell, UOL is jus de same......

University Of London, UOL = Ultimate Organisation of Loansharks

and sending me a letter to comfort me that I've done well, just not good enuff.....
wat da f*ck la, jus give me my 2 marks.....dats all i wan.......
next time I'll jus open my own uni and earn big money la....
2 months, dats relatively a short period to put everythin in my head for the referred papers....
hai....Onegai kamisama, mou sukoshi dake.....onegai shimasuuuuuuuu.........

Judgement Day

2006-08-20T13:33:00.000+08:00

god.....my results are goin to be out and i'm so bloody hell tension now......3 months of hols endin soon and i din enjoy enuff yet....these past 2 weeks can't really sleep well too.....keep waking up at 1-2 am doin nothin but runnin thru endless thoughts....din realise it but those thoughts are kinda scary....sometimes it jus seems dat i have a bleak future.....when i think back, dsi is my 5th year out of PFS but yet i have nth to show from all dis years....screwed up my MMU life but then they really sux.....and wats more, everyone's already graduated or graduatin next year..... I'm really startin to feel the peer pressure now and wat my future holds for me? maybe i'm jus here to make up de numbers as if there are success stories, at the same time there are tiny, bitty, unimportant stories of those dat failed. Am i really one of them? worse still, i was really freakin out waitin for the unexpected result a.k.a "Flying Colours" of cos....but wat i heard from a person i recently get to know certainly hit me hard....."there's no point regrettin now cos exam is over, shud be feelin dis way before de exams.....wat is done is done, the result shud be pretty expected d"..... not even comfortin at all but instead tembak rite in de face.....gah, now i'm really f*ckin tension d......few nites ago, I wake up at around de same time helpless and hopeless as usual....jus all of a sudden i speak in my heart, if God let me pass dis time I will do all I can to repay God. Its stupid i know, cos God are basically jus an unrealistic celebrity dat everybody puts their hope on....its jus somethin to hang on to and provide dis really small glimpse of hope for those who can't save themselves anymore......I've been thru all sorts of troubles before in my life and yet, God is never there to sort things the rite way...... *sigh* this time around, wats gonna happen next? nobody knows...... 1 more week then I shall die, pass my kind soul for God's judgment. I wanna be successful, rich, powerful , etc. But all that doesn't come in a package that i can buy thru E-bay. Arrgghhh............hopefully things will turn out fine after all......

Natural Beauty

2006-08-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

It's been a pretty hectic week la....whole PC fair thingy going on....working there for fun jus to earn a small sum....it was fun tho, cos jus stand and kap siao with ppl who dun seem to know anythin bout computers and gettin to know other nice colleagues as well.....the main thing during a PC fair of cos is the girls.....I repeat "THE GIRLS". Most of the ppl think that pc fairs only for geeks....but believe me it is so not. but sadly the PG's PC Fair is rather inferior compared to the KL's one held in Putrajaya with their top-rated Samsung gals. there ain't no Samsung girls for PG's PC Fair so its pretty sucky while looking out for hot, sexy + cutie female exhibitors. so no choice but to look out for visitors.... :P but then i'm workin so can't be goin around snappin photos else i'd be mistaken for a stalker.....hmm, maybe nex time i'd work free lance for Star Newspaper during PC Fair, that'd be cool. Speaking of the visitors, i met this one natural-tanned girl who's got a real good and hot bod with a mixture of Thai in her blood. i was stunned and really so stunned dat i actually pronounced Core-Solo processor as a "Call-olo". Phew, lucky me dat she doesn't know wats de meaning at all. Bloody Ching Wei standing nex to me also nv cover for me. but speaking of tanned-girl, my all-time favourite will alwiz be Jess Alba....phew, legs got weak jus by sayin her name. check her out......

But my taste is still with Asian girls tho....i'm no dickhead dat goes around telling the good thing bout American girls jus to sound happening and cool....CK, u know who i'm talkin bout huh? I actually dig Japanese girl alot. Ever since i became a Jap-drama addict, I've alwiz been a big fan of dis one not-so-famous actress. Let me present to u, Nana Katase. She started with a cameo in Takashi Sorimachi's GTO OVA after the succesfull drama series and dats when i noticed her. This is how she looks like.
Maximum kawaii-ness and beauty. If only she's a commoner and a Malaysian....haha, but all this is jus a never reachable fantasy. Jus felt that lot of ppl doesn't know her so run a blog on her lo....I'm really sick of Nanako M, Kyoko Fukada, and Misaki Itoh....tho i wouldn't mind watchin Itoh more as she is hot but jus got bored talkin bout her d.....

But of cos, Japanese idols are all a thing of the past. When they are still fresh, nearly all tv-channels try their best to air Jap dramas. i first watch Beach Boys on TV3 and they suck cos an 1 hour show comes along 15-20 minutes of ad. Local channel sux la really.

Now, it seems dat the current hype is with Korean actress and actresses. First to hit international stardom is of cos Bae Yong-Jun followed by Lee Young-Ae. But after watching a number of Korean dramas and movies, I'd say my current pick is Son Ye-Jin from the Art of Seduction 2005 movie i jus watch 2 weeks ago. tho Seong Hong recommended Kim Jung Hwa but i still can't find the movie yet.....Shit!!!! But Son Ye-Jin is enough to kill any male with her stunning look la.....

I'd really love to show any PC Fair pictures but sadly can't get anythin cos really lotsa ppl as everyone wanna pick up dirt-cheap stuff but still it seems dat ppl will even negotiate like hell to get a RM9 discount for a RM3099 laptop(1 of my customer which i eventually gave de discount). Does it really make a diff? but Ching wei's Arabian customer is the most hardcore price-negotiator I've ever seen. Agreed for a price of RM3200, he actually pay cash RM3150 and den slowly negotiate 1 ringgit by 1 ringgit while pullin piece by piece from his wallet. Man, wat was he thinkin??? Ching wei got so pissed dat he wanna cancel de deal already before the Arabian guy finally pulled out a 50 ringgit bill.....really all kinds of ppl u can c in de PC Fair....the next one is somewhere in November. haha, hopefully it'll be a better one cos dis time around, not so many visitors in total compared to the last one way back in April. Dats it la....chao.

Ghost Rider

2006-08-01T01:35:00.000+08:00

I used to be a very big fan of comics when i was a kiddo. Love those artistic styles especially those of Andy Kubert and Jim Lee. So when i got a trade paperback limited edition Spiderman for my 21st birthday from my long time primary schoolmate, Dennis(Ur truly my good fren cos so many yrs u still remember), the hobby was revived along with so many comic strips adapted to the cinema screens. Not short of mention is our very own local Penangite who went to US and got his own stand-alone titled Spirit of The Tao(TopCow Comics) pencilled by him, let me introduce Billy Tan Mung Koy. I used to go to the same art class as him altho he is very much my senior. Hey, I go, to art class OK?! It might sounds absurd but i draw, i paint and Hell, I'm GOOD WITH BRUSHES, OK??!! Anyway, this post is not about my skills or wateva, jus happened to come upon the trailer for the upcoming release of Ghost Rider(one of my favourite character too) starring Nicholas Cage so tot I'd enlighten those who do not know who or what Ghost Rider is all about.

The story started with the main character Johnny Blaze, a hardcore stunt motorcyclist trading his soul to the demonic entity Zarathos to save his mentor. Since then, every nite Zarathos will sort of take control of this mortal soul shown with the emitting of Zarathos's powers thru the flaming skull wielding a fiery motorcycle and blasts of hellfire from his skeletal hands. Though with the look of an undeniable super f*cked up KNNCCB villain that was supposed to appear as a villain in the Daredevil series, indeed those peeps at Marvel was so impressed that dis fire-breathin big shot got his own title instead and turned out to be a superhero saving the world....Ironic huh? guess those Marvel peeps decided not to cross sword with the real demonic entity Zarathos or its taiko Mephisto which is a retcon of the original series. So i guess everybody knows the background of Ghost Rider now. I've checked out the SonyPictures website producing the movie, damn cool CGI especially the metal chains he used, so i expect this movie to recieve prior recognition for its CGI but not the storyline maybe. Comic-adapted movies are never gonna force their way into the Academy Award Best Picture category.

Check out their page here at http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/ghostrider/

Remember to enter the site and surf around, I didn't try the game section yet tho. Dunno what it is.

Anyway, I got the trailer right here.....quite cool.....

U wouldn't wanna miss the movie, know y??? Cos hot-sexy-chic Eva Mendes is starring alongside Cage, nonetheless, as his sweetheart. Honestly, Cage is a bit too old for a young hot chic la....probably he gets nosebleed throughout the entire filming period. Look closely, and u'll notice his hair also going half-bald d. Need a new hair stylist maybe???

Tho this movie is completed d, sadly, it'll only be released on February 16 2007, f*ckin 7 more months from now?!?! But I'm sure its gonna be worth te wait, and to make up for the wait, haha, peeps, National Treasure 2 will be released next year too, so we'll all know the next treasure he's gonna be after. They are now in pre-production of course after Cage completed Ghost Rider. Hey, I'm no Cage fan at all rite? Personally, I think Colin Farrell will be better acting as Rider in this one. Anyway, thats it for now la.....
Till the next time.....

Dream Car

2006-07-31T15:02:00.000+08:00

Don't really know what to write at all... Probably write something bout my dream car will be enough to entertain readers which i think is ZERO at the moment......
Anyway, car modifications is definitely not my profession, jus somethin i like to check out and be updated with regularly....
someday i'll be able to afford one i suppose??!!?aww, when is it gonna be? Firstly, u jus gotta get urself a nice piece of ride...
of cos an Evo or a Supra is top of the list thus require minimal upgrades la. But for those car mods enthusiasts, upgrading a car bit by bit is definitely entertaining and fun.....for me?? I'd go for a lower range old Mazda RZ7 FC3S codename Efini. Don't mix up this with the one Ryosuke's drivin in de anime, cos dats only a RX7 Savannah version. This is de one in de movie edition where it's driven by Edison Chen(who sux posing as Ryosuke). Anyway, dis car is one piece of monster machine when released from 1987-1992 before being replaced by the famous RX7 FD version which is much sleeker and cooler in design. This car comes with a stock turbocharged 1.8 engine capable of 280BHP@6800rpm. Dats pretty powerfull for a car produced way back in de 80's. It comes with a front wheel drivetrain which provides drifting capabilities compared to Skyline which is a 4WD drivetrain. The famous thing with Mazda is dat most of their cars are equipped with a rotary engine which i guess i'll talk bout next time.

Next comes all the modifications i plan to do if i were to have a Efini Rx7. Of course replacing it with a 2.0 Mivec DOHC engine(200BHP@7500rpm) cos rotary waste petrol and i'm no Drift King. I'll spend time on rotary once i got all the materials and research done la....

Engine
-Alpha Pro4 Duratec ECU kit
-Apexi Isamu RX-6 Turbo kit
-HKS Electronic valve controller and turbo timer
-Spec-R Skyline R33 Race turbo intercooler
-Blitz fuel injectors
Performance
-Alcon ventilated brake discs & calipers
-Koni threaded coil-over suspension kit
-Quartermaster extremeV racing clutch kits
-Quaife 5-speed gearbox kit
-Spec-R Subaru WRX Steering tank
-Jack Knight steering kit
-Demon Tweeks competition exhaust kit
Interior/Body
-Momo Apache steering+ Sparco steering boss
-Cobra Evo competition bucket seat
-Crimson K6 18" rims+BF Goodrich tires
-PIAA Plasma Fx Blue Bulbs

I guess dats bout all.....and it'll cost me really really lotsa cash jus to do all dat.....
But hey, maybe i'll be invited to star alongside Paul Walker in Fast&Furious 4??
haha.....hopefully la......

dawn of a new day.....

2006-07-24T14:44:00.000+08:00

first post.....duno wat to write.....
jus an announcement, james is finally blogging, albeit only a novice here.....
damn tulan now anyway, car service took such a long time, and 'lau b' screw cos i go lunch with ck.....
all thanx to ck la.....and my meals at home were left to rot.....
anyway, jus f*ck the day,and pray that it goes by asap.....